Superman's disguise is stupid!

This is a complaint I hear a lot. It's... pretty much a running gag. At it's worst, it's used to make Lois herseld look like a total dipshit. And, to be fair... it is something mishandled quite a bit.

But there is nothing inherently wrong with the idea itself. And, as a bonus, it doesn't even need a ridiculous explanation like the hypno-vision, or whatnot to make it work.

First of all, take out the fact that you are a viewer of Superman's life. You see the Kents and you see him in a cape. You understand his reasons for doing this, thus, when he shows up, it's kinda a "Duh" sort of thing. You have been with him along the whole journey, so it's all something you've been able to add up because you have all the pieces. When you don't the reasoning for it begins to break down immediately.

Take this example as you will. The place where you work hires a guy named Ralph Hobbs. You meet Ralph one day at lunch. And... Dude! He looks just like George Clooney! Only he's wearing these big ass Horn-rim glasses.

Now, ask yourself this. What is your first reaction?

A) "DUDE! GEORGE CLOONEY! I LOVED YOU IN BATMAN AND ROBIN!"

or...

B) "That... guy looks kinda like George Clooney... But that's silly because why would George Clooney be working HERE? ...and more so, why would he be wearing those stupid glasses?"

You'd pass it off as a curious thing wouldn't you? Then you'd start over analyzing and thinking maybe the nose isn't quite right or his ears don't look quite like you remember from that movie. You go up to old Ralph and ask him if anyone ever told him he looks a bit like George Clooney. He'd tell you he gets that all the time. And the two of you laugh it off. Just a funny little coincidence. Now, Imagine that this wasn't just an actor, but a god damn god. That doesn't harm the notion at all, it HELPS it. Why on earth would Superman bother with this shit?

Now, HERE is where the details REALLY start to matter.

More or less, you get the portrayal of Clark Kent as just superman in glasses. Which, right there, is 99% of your problem. The people would already be doubting themselves, if you can play TO that, it no longer becomes a stupid pair of glasses, but a whole new PERSONA.

Ideally, Clark Kent would act NOTHING like Superman. I don't necessarily mean the goofy bumbling or what have you, but there's a TON of small details that would begin to add up. Clark Kent's posture, his Kansas accent, the way he does his hair, the fit of his suit, the way he walks and carries himself, the resonance of his voice, to the very look in his eyes. ALL of these things would contribute to the idea that... This is a different person. Why would Superman be acting like that? He has no reason to hide amongst us. He can hear everything, see through wall, Move nigh the speed of light (depending on your interpretation), nothing can hurt him, he's a damn alien from a dead world with a culture and customs all his own. It's like imagining Jean Reno playing as a Kansas farm boy. Just... WHY? And more so, an alien would just be some fish out of water in any case. His abilities, his customs, all these things would certainly give him away. There is no reason that Clark Kent would have to be Superman.

But of course, we know differently, don't we? Superman was RAISED as Clark Kent. That's who he sees himself as. He IS Kal-El from Krypton aka Superman, but he sees himself as Clark. That is what he sees as his life. His home. His friends and family. He acts as superman to try and keep the memory of his people alive. He does it to try and live up to the hope and morals he believes in. That epic being isn't just a mask, it's a PART of him. Clark Kent brings superman humility and humanity, while Superman brings us all a model and example of how we can be better.

All of this is irrelevant to the secret identity. Because the people around him at the Daily Planet wouldn't know all of this. You have this mysterious alien god flying around. Then you have Kansas farm boy Clark Kent working with you. Neither of these people seem like they would get along, let alone BE the same person.

Ya know, up until every ten minutes Clark excuses himself and then Superman pops in.

But with good story telling, you can have LOADS of dramatic fun with this. The conflict with trying to live two lives. The times you have to choose one over the other. Imagine Superman having to use his mind to work out a solution using his powers AS Clark Kent. Imagine the times when he would have to choose between the two halves of his being. Hell, just the shear work it must take to keep someone like Lois Fucking Lane in the dark is mind boggling to consider. But inevitably, she has to. To have it figured out within Ten Minutes makes the whole idea look stupid, it elevates Lois at the cost of dramatic potential. At the same time, keeping her in the dark for years just makes her look incompetent. But the only reason the idea itself would harm her character is if you don't make it CONVINCING. As most versions tend to do.

The way it needs to work is as Lois gets to know the two sides of him, she begins putting the details together. As good as superman is, he's bound to slip up. He's a god, but not infallible. Slowly, you start to put two and two together as the Lois and Clark/Superman relationship grows closer. If you just have Lois robotically pointing it out right then in there ("Clark Kent/Superman. Bruce Wayne/Batman. Wally West/Flash. What else you got?") it, oddly enough, DE-humanizes Lois herself! And the humanity of the Lois character is VITAL for the Superman story.

Even better, the whole secret identity thing was played perfectly, and summarizes the whole pshycological aspect in the comic itself.

At one point in the Byrne run, I believe, Lex Luthor created a program for determining the identity of Superman (Nevermind that this isn't STRICKTLY nessesary, but it's a fun plot point and helps the Luthor character) The computer does it's job perfectly and reveals to Luthor that Clark Kent is Superman. What does Luthor do? Nothing. He thinks the machine is flawed in some way. He cannot fathom why a god like being such as Superman would play as a lowly human like Clark Kent. Luthor's ego, and his own perspective of the world will not allow him to wrap his mind around the idea. And it's a natural reaction. It doubly summarizes the whole point of the disguise and it's usefulness too. Because really...

Why would Superman pretend to be Clark Kent of all people?